Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Politics is the art of looking for trouble finding it everywhere diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

She got her good looks from her father - hes a plastic surgeon.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.

Those are my principles. If you dont like them I have others.

A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume a pound of sachet powder an evil-smelling lip rouge a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar.

Who are you going to believe me or your own eyes?

Either hes dead or my watch has stopped.

Bloods not thicker than money.